Naked hope

"I've seen you without clothes. Reckon I never thought I'd see you naked."
Mal, "Trash", Firefly

I find myself wanting to apologize for the ranty nature of the last couple posts.  But that's what this is.

Naked, bare-faced honesty.  My chronicle of my journey with a debilitating disease.

But I won't let it beat me!


From the time I was a child, I've had one chronic condition after another, so I learned to live with things, to tough it out through things.  Fibro differs in that it's unlike any other chronic condition.  It's hard to describe, but that's what I'm going to try and do.

Will you stick with me?

I've lived with these symptoms for years -- but only had the diagnosis for five months.  Being diagnosed with a disease like this is almost like a death -- you go through the stages of grief.

I'm still processing mine.  The past few days, I've been in the middle of a pain flare, which always makes me feel useless, worthless, and pathetic.  It brings out my hopeless, dark side.  Despair becomes my cloak, and I envision all the horrific things that will be my future because of this damned disease.

But there is more to me than this!  I will live with it as companion.  I will let it teach me.  But I will be it's master!  I'm beginning to climb out of this flare.  It becomes a snowball effect; one you never quite recover from.  But damn it, you get busy living, or you get busy dying.

Hope springs eternal.

Give me the weekend.  Then I'll whip this blog into the educational tool I want it to be.

Brooks was here.  So was Red.  SO WAS JASON!