It's been a couple years since my last post. A lot in my life has changed. Here are some things brewing in me that I wanted to write about, to share with you...
- My journey through functional medicine and how it identified the causes of my fibromyalgia, the subsequent (grueling) treatment, and the cure (yes, cure)
- The fallout of my divorce in my life and the lives of others, how I've realized and accepted my own role in it (where before I only mentally recognized it), and what happens next (beats me?)
- What happens next? With a blank slate and a fledgling identity, the struggle to find my authentic self again and defeat my own demons rages on
Perhaps, most of all, I've realized how much a tinge of fear has driven me in my life. It's something I still struggle with, especially seeing the effects of it in my life the last few years.
I used to share my soul via writing to a public audience so easily. The words are still there -- the longing still exists. But there is fear -- fear of being exposed as an impostor, not worthy, not good enough.
There is a difference between "I am a failure" and "I have failed." On days like today, that line, for me, is blurred and fuzzy.
I hope that by simply telling you I'm afraid that I can expose the fear itself, rob it of it's power, and perhaps find strength among this community of people to banish it once and for all. Or a way to keep going, keep plodding, keep landing one foot in front of the other. For answers, for peace, for happiness.
What do you think?
Stay tuned.
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